My Merdeka in 2009

10 mins left, it's Malaysia's 52nd birthday. everyone is going to celebrate except me.
I just came back from my cousin's house at PJ. and I really forgotten today was last day of Music Festival and i promised Penny that I going. =________________=
I totally forgot about this. I am so sorry.

Actually my friends invited me to join them for Merdeka Countdown but I just refused.
Do you know why?
Refer to previous post then you'll know lah. :P
I still can't forget that what I did and what I had been told my friends,
I SMS to Grayson, sorry I can't join you for Merdeka because I wanna accompany my parents.
ops friend sorry I don't wanted to go anywhere bcoz of bla bla bla bla..
Friends are so kind to invite me for celebration but I just keep refused.. =.=
Why?
I still depressing. Yes I still.
Maybe now you may see that I always laugh and make jokes around but it is only some part of me. another part I still got unhappy, depress or even emo part in my heart. I just don't wanted to make people worried about me because they always thought that I'm a happy girl who has no depression. Dear readers, I have to tell you that I may have some clinical symptoms of depression now. LOL. Atleast I still know how to find some happy stuff to make me better :)

I guess most of readers here may know who am I and how's my personality.
To people who know me, maybe I'm a girl who talk jokes alot, talk alot, and make everyone laugh and laugh. Now you still can see this part or me, but when I am alone, or face to the people who I really trust, all my depression will comes out. Or maybe they're thought that I'm pretending to get some sympathy?

I just dunno why I easily to get depress now. and I really wanted to say thank you for my best friend although I know him not more than 1 year. He is a special guy that I met in college, he is the best joker in our gang. although he likes to tease ppl, but he is from good point to make us change ourselves. I love to talk with him. thanks YH

Currently blogging is one of my way to express my feeling. I think this is the best way too.. Bcoz it may not reply you and keep hurting you, just type it out then click publish then all done. maybe I'll get some feedback from readers or my friends atleast I know that people are still caring about me. :)

Ought to be happy today bcoz it is my country's big day.

Happy Birthday to Malaysia !!!!!!!

Merdeka !!!
:D