My Merdeka in 2009

10 mins left, it's Malaysia's 52nd birthday. everyone is going to celebrate except me.
I just came back from my cousin's house at PJ. and I really forgotten today was last day of Music Festival and i promised Penny that I going. =________________=
I totally forgot about this. I am so sorry.

Actually my friends invited me to join them for Merdeka Countdown but I just refused.
Do you know why?
Refer to previous post then you'll know lah. :P
I still can't forget that what I did and what I had been told my friends,
I SMS to Grayson, sorry I can't join you for Merdeka because I wanna accompany my parents.
ops friend sorry I don't wanted to go anywhere bcoz of bla bla bla bla..
Friends are so kind to invite me for celebration but I just keep refused.. =.=
Why?
I still depressing. Yes I still.
Maybe now you may see that I always laugh and make jokes around but it is only some part of me. another part I still got unhappy, depress or even emo part in my heart. I just don't wanted to make people worried about me because they always thought that I'm a happy girl who has no depression. Dear readers, I have to tell you that I may have some clinical symptoms of depression now. LOL. Atleast I still know how to find some happy stuff to make me better :)

I guess most of readers here may know who am I and how's my personality.
To people who know me, maybe I'm a girl who talk jokes alot, talk alot, and make everyone laugh and laugh. Now you still can see this part or me, but when I am alone, or face to the people who I really trust, all my depression will comes out. Or maybe they're thought that I'm pretending to get some sympathy?

I just dunno why I easily to get depress now. and I really wanted to say thank you for my best friend although I know him not more than 1 year. He is a special guy that I met in college, he is the best joker in our gang. although he likes to tease ppl, but he is from good point to make us change ourselves. I love to talk with him. thanks YH

Currently blogging is one of my way to express my feeling. I think this is the best way too.. Bcoz it may not reply you and keep hurting you, just type it out then click publish then all done. maybe I'll get some feedback from readers or my friends atleast I know that people are still caring about me. :)

Ought to be happy today bcoz it is my country's big day.

Happy Birthday to Malaysia !!!!!!!

Merdeka !!!
:D

She is unhappy right now

My mom and I,
we have no much conversation today,
totally none.

I've been stay in my bedroom for whole day.
I don't know how to face her.
This morning I wanna try to talk with her but she threw things in front of me, and I know that she is still angry of me, so I better get back into bedroom.
I'm very sorry to my mom.
Why my mom will angry?

Now, I felt that this is not Melody anymore.
She's get control by somebody.

This is what I read from Penny's blog,

"Love Life and Life will love you back.

Love People and they'll love you back."

Do you agree with her? Yes I do agree but sometimes I could see that when they love you back, It is not the love that you want or even expected. To me, everyone is so important for me, please do allow me to say the truth, I love my family, my friends, my special one, I can feel their love too. But, once all combined together, It might hurts me and people around me. I'm not Christian, I will not required from Jesus as well. I am a Buddisht, who trust her God so much. I wish that I wanna have a peaceful life, please do lead me how to reach it. Thank you.

I am just a girl, not a super girl, nor intelligent girl. Why give me such difficult life? I'm grateful that I have a very good study life but why I must have unhappy the rest of life? I'm happy actually but just some promised to made me became like this. I did not do any wrong to myself even other people, is that this is one of my life path that I wanted to face?

I am very confused right now,
I felt that I was very happy when I'm in Sem 1.
After I started my Sem 2, everything were changed.
Totally changed.
I enjoyed my class, but during break time, I felt that I have no much time to do discussion with my friends, or even that I have rushing my time to meet him.
This is not me. This is not Melody. This is not Ming Shi.
I asking myself, am I happy to rush like this in my life?

I might feel upset sometimes.
I hate people that who has no patient to wait something.
I'm not purposely to been late also, why everything must kept on blaming me?

I've envy those couple are so sweet and the boyfriend could listen to her and both will respect what they want, why I can't ?

I've changed.
yes, I've changed.
Could someone just please respect me that what I want?
If things could happen again, I could not be in Klang anymore. My decison.
I am not kidding now, I strongly serious what I have told here although this is my blog that what I do during my free time.

I need friends too,
I need time to hang out with friends too.
why he always blame me that I did not accompany him?
He has many friends as well, I didn't complain about why he always been home so late,
why he must get in bed after midnight, why so crazy in badminton and many whysssss.

Honestly, my family quite wonder about him although he mets my family before.
I don't like to get forced to do something that I don't like.

Fast, I wanna get back my kampung to forget about it. But I need to wait until Raya. =__=

I ate my breakfast, mee soup and I didnt eat anything for my lunch. Although my dad ask me for lunch but I couldn't see any food on table. I have no appetite to eat too. Seems sister knew what had happend yesterday so she just chat with me and we watch my drama presentation fairy tale which is Cinderella. I have many of tests next week, all comes together with Maths Quiz, Account Quiz, Econ Quiz and my Role Play presentation. I plan to continue my diploma after I finished my foundation in my college. I am not choosing to accounts anymore bcoz it is tough when you majoring in it. Most of them suggested me to take majoring in Finance.

My mom is so happy when she knows that I going to take major Finance and not Accounts. Thanks to him that who suggest me study in diploma and make my life more colourful. I wish my mom will smile when she see me again. I very sorry that I hurt her so much recently and some misunderstood between us. It started with a punctual-time. next, is my issue, his issue.
She told me that why my boyfren treat me like this and why wants me drive car to find him and why don't he come and meet me up? She doesn't like me to find him but she wish he will automatically to meet me. When I was depressed last week, did he?

I'm a fool, of love.

why ?

Why she is always not understand?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?




















I am super emo and depress right now.

my another hamster is dead, too

last Sunday, I received a call from Raymond. He told me that Spiky was dead.
I couldn't have talent to take care pets, now. =.=


this is the only photo I have. when he bought this at Mid Valley during pet fair.


It's sad. The two hamsters get killed by me ! =.=

It's hurt when I heard that

Lecturer put some question using school name as example..

" Hey, why your school bought so many things for sports?"

" No lah, I also no idea about it."

" Hey, my school had bought so many balls!"

" Haha lucky got no my school. "

" Oh, because your school is not famous, everyone asked about my school sure know one! "





the words were so hurt.. although it is only a joke....

the past

Do I still live in the past???


'I miss it.'

I missing every moment.

Prom Night 2009

I going my college prom night tomorrow.
Hollywood Glam.
What should I wear for the night???


I wish I can be the outstanding one.



:D

all were my fault ?

I having a hard week, since last week.
Last Friday I went to BBQ gathering with my coursemate, it was great. we enjoyed it very much. But the only one who don't like me going because he said I back home at 1am.
hmm, I got nothing to explain it, because most of the party will ended at midnight right?

okay nevermind, it passed.
Saturday, I drove car to watch movie with him. maybe both of us were tired so we have nothing much to talk. Two of us like =___= . ya you get it? hehe.. we watched G.I Joe. it was a good movie. worth to watch. I suggest guys have to watch it, but I feel they got copy some action from Matrix. LOL . at night, I get scolded by mom because I was drive my car alone to Aeon and back at 11pm. yeah this is dangerous, I am thinking about it too.

Sunday, Raymond help me found a part time job which is crew in an event. just to be helper then we can earn RM60. good right? before I go for the job, I also get scolded by mom. Said that I don't need to study anymore lah, bla, I'm not listening to her, I'm not helping her work, I never do it that what I promised her. Is that my fault?

I doing part time job because I don't wanted my parents spend more money on me.
and I try my best to spend money wisely. But nowadays things is so worthless, everything we need to purchase also very expensive. Maybe we could afford to buy it, but I still need to consider very very deeply. Other than that, I need to gain my experience too, maybe I am still a child to my parents. They worried about me very much... I get spoiled. =.=


I very sorry to my parents. especially Mom. I know she may not reading this but I just wish I dont want to make her mad anymore.
Sorry to Raymond too.

my trip has gone

Actually Raymond plans to go Penang with his friends during Merdeka.
he invited me too.. but I can't make it, parents dont wanted me to go.
hmmmmmm....

I wish they can change their mind in last minute.

but, he says all cannot change once I decided.



so?

I have to celebrate my Merdeka alone !

a number to decide our destiny ?

Yee Han, Grayson and Neo went to meet a fortune teller.In Chinese culture they have something which is about counting our destiny.

As they told it is 90% accurate, I think I have to take a try in someday. Some of you will think that I'm over believed about fortune. Okay I admit that I could trust this but I m not get lost of it. They said the fortune teller will use our D.O.B to count to figure out a number. Example I use my DOB, which is 22/04/1990, that is

2 + 2 + 0 + 4 + 1 + 9 + 9 + 0 = 27 , 2 + 7 = 9

so 9 will be my destiny number.

But I didnt go there to get a chance for enquiry. But I get it from facebook.
click here to take a try.


Calculate Your Life Path Number
Melody just calculate his/her Life Path Number.

Dear Melody Ming Shi, Your Life Path Number is 9. This based on below calculation:

Birth Date: 22-04-1990
2+2+0+4+1+9+9+0=27=2+7=9

Below are the analysis of life path number 9:

The Life Path 9 suggests that you entered this plane with an abundance of dramatic feelings coupled with a strong sense of compassion and generosity.
The key to the nature of a Life Path number 9 person is found in their humanitarian attitude. Even the very average of those with life path 9 possess extremely compassionate tendencies.

Usually this number produces an individual that is very trustworthy and honorable, and one unlikely to harbor any sort of prejudice.
Obviously, this is a rather tall order, but you are, in fact, a person that feels very deeply for individuals less fortunate than yourself, and if you are in a position to help, you certainly will. The 9, being the highest of the single digit numbers, holds an elevated position in terms of responsibilities to mankind.


Just for Fun. Do Not Believe it. at all.

my hamster is dead !

I done Impromptu speech today during english class, chosen the topic which is ways to relieve stress. :)
I didnt pick up the call from mom because I busying my speech.
when I back from college, I saw inside my hamster only left a hamster which is Spiky(male).
and then I asked mom why it only left one? where is the another one?
She told me that she is passed away.
Die ??????????
really????
I do give them food, change their mattress as well, how come sit will die? OMG

feel abit down with it, hmmmmmm,
my dad buried it, i can't even see her ! =.=



R.I.P,
my dear hamster. Fussy

(oh ya I know why my pet name is so funny. i just like the name.)
I only left a hamster now, he is super lonely and dont know what can I do for him.
find a partner for him?
I plan to give ppl huh..
I can't stand to keep a pet anymore........
I don't like the feeling when they die.